#supporting local screenshoter instead of making my own

[polyamorouspunk]

Let’s Talk.

My name is Punk.

This isn’t the name I chose.

This is the name that was given to me by this community.

And for the first time this year this is the name I’ve started using in real life too.

I’m 24 years old. I turn 25 in a few weeks. I’m undecided on whether or not I want to live to see it.

In December of 2021 the person I regarded as the love of my life, my soulmate, despite being polyamorous broke up with me, dashing our plans to get married and move in together around… well, around 25.

From there I fell in with someone eccentric. Some of you knew him as Catboy. I knew him as the ex porn star, married man trying to get a divorce with a newborn kid he didn’t know was his or not that was born while we were together.

Many of you sat around and listened to me talk about how amazing he was and how much he hurt me. Many of you told me that this was an unhealthy situation for me. Many of you told me to break it off. And eventually I did. And that was with your support.

I spent the next few years lamenting being single and how much it sucked with some toxic BPD things in between like one FP I had a crush on acting like we were friends and making plans with me only to turn around and basically call me a psycho? But we’re on good terms again now so it’s fine I guess? Yeah.

Up until about a year ago when I reconnected with my gf, who I never really lost touch with. She was always there in the background, but she’s in the spotlight now.

Around this time I found my latest FP, the lead singer of a somewhat popular band. I started the year off strong. I was on top of the world. I was talking to the lead singer of this band almost every day, and it was amazing!

During this time I started feeling myself a little more. I gained a confidence I think I had lost. If you’ve seen literally any pictures of me over this year you probably know what I mean. And I liked the attention I was getting on here.

Around this time I made it out to my first local show. I have a reputation on here, after all, and it was unheard of for a punk blog like me to not even be active in his own scene! But I always had an excuse. I was tired. I had work. Chronic pain day. It was always something.

This is where we introduce our first of two characters in the life of Punk this year, a girl I dubbed ⚡�� on here.

When I first saw ⚡️ I was enraptured.

I have screenshots of the messages I sent Key that night talking about how enthralled with her I was and how I had watched her all night. I even have messages from Key from when I went back to the venue to see if I could find her and winded up taking home a Green Day patch and pin instead. Three guesses as to where those wound up if you follow Key’s blog at all.

But nothing happened and instead I connected with someone on here. And that was going well until it wasn’t going well anymore. And I cussed them out and took a week of this blog. That’s about when things started to go downhill.

Frustrated at everything I turned to dating apps and that’s where I met 🔮. If you’ve been following this story at all you might know that when I first met up with 🔮 I thought that she was ⚡️. I stand by my right to say this was an easy mistake to make. Ignore the 7 year age gap.

Upon realizing that 🔮 was not in fact ⚡️, my response, of course, as the fucking polyamorous punk was wow! TWO punk girls? What a deal! (Yeah fucking right).

I went on one date with 🔮 and then she invited me to my first house show (party) at her boyfriend’s venue (house). There I smoked weed for the first time. I had always wanted to treat smoking weed my first time like losing my virginity. Someone holding my hand through it and checking in on me. That did not happen. I went home without saying goodbye and from there things devolved. 🔮 told me that she didn’t want to see me outside of the scene, and that she needed space. So, utterly devastated I’d had my heart broken less than a month after the fucking last time I spiraled badly. Started self harming. Considering killing myself a lot. I’m sure you know. You were probably there for it.

It was during this period I ended up finding ⚡️ again. And so I told her that I had a crush on her and that I wanted help fixing things with 🔮 because I wasn’t over her. And then she ghosted me. Because why not I guess lmao. And honestly? I had an air of wanting to ruin things with her too anyway. Because what was the fucking point.

And then one fateful day in July the week after I came home from one of my numerous trips back to CT to keep myself as sane as fucking possible and heal the emotional damage I was constantly being dealt from my BPD and feelings of rejection by going to spend time with people who actually fucking loved and cared about me I attended a movie night at the venue where all of this started in the first place knowing full well there was a good chance I was going to run into one of them. And I did.

And so ⚡️ and I sat together. And we talked. And it was. Electric. It seems funny I chose ⚡️ represent her.

There was a spark and an energy between us I couldn’t deny. And yet, it wasn’t going anywhere.

So I had let it go. Because what was the point of chasing ghosts.

I let it go until one night in August after- wait for it- another trip back to CT I sat around her living room with all her friends and she was the only person I knew until 🔮 showed up. And everyone got drunk and I realized while I had spent months hurting myself, considering killing myself, wondering if I needed to commit myself because of all the fucking emotional PAIN I was in, that these girls were going around to clubs looking for dates and hookups. And I realized how fucking traumatizing the past few months had been for me. I know that probably seems obvious but I mean it when I say I really didn’t realize until I was standing in my kitchen talking to Kai (fangsup-cobrastyle) about how fucked up I was. I mean that well and truly.

And I realized that how is someone supposed to realize how I feel if I didn’t tell them. So I did. I wrote a letter to get the thoughts and feelings out of my head and I addressed it to ⚡️ and disclosed I had no idea if I would even give it to her or not. But I did. And she read it.

And she sat me down and told me she had no idea the extent of how much I was hurting, and that she felt like 🔮 had done the same to her. Which surprised me. I mean, they were best friends. But yeah, I guess if one of them was infatuated with the other and that one was just dragging them along… no wonder they seemed so close.

I looked down at my lap and out at the gas station across the street and asked her if I was crazy in saying that I saw the way she looked at me, the way she acted around me… she said I wasn’t, but she wasn’t in a place for a relationship. I got it. I understood. And I came back with telling her that if she didn’t want to be my girlfriend then I didn’t want that either- but I didn’t not want to be with her either.

She told me that she had shit to sort out. She was a poor broke college student that had lost her job and was trying to make rent on the lease in her punk house. So I threw her some money. I didn’t expect anything back. I just wanted to help. And I told her fine if she wasn’t my girlfriend then she could at least be my sugar baby.

So we’re. Seeing each other. Now. I guess. Or at least I thought we were until like. Last night. Oh boy last night.

Girl went missing over the weekend and had the worst weekend of her life. I had no idea she was missing. She had stood me up and while I was half expecting it, by the time it had been a few days I had slide back into splitting on her, right up until she told me she had to go for a few days. So I said that was fine and I just wanted her to be safe.

*looks into the camera like I’m on the office*

Chat she was not safe. Like at all. In fact she was decidedly UNsafe, and I had no idea because I was like clearly the girl needs space I’ll give her some space. So yeah. Went missing. Had an ordeal. Got back Sunday or yesterday.

Even before I had learned all this I had wanted to ask if I could come over so we could talk more about things between us, and she told me she would think about it depending on how she felt after the show last night. Well. She decided to get a ride from 🔮 instead because 🔮 had things to get from her house. And if you know someone with BPD you know that they do not react well when they target of their affection quite literally chooses someone who is basically competition over them. So yeah. Spiraled hard last night. Cried about it a lot both on here and irl to someone from the scene. Someone who kept it real with me as someone who also has BPD.

Someone else reached out to me from the scene and I ended up telling them what happened too.

So where does that leave me now.

Well.

I had wanted so badly to come home to you all and tell you that I was finally… happy. That I had another relationship in the works. With an amazing girl. And that’s not not true.

I kept it on the downlow because we didn’t agree to anything official, and it didn’t feel fair to announce a relationship that didn’t exist yet.

So now where that leaves me is having sent her a message last night telling her that what she did really hurt my feelings, having a mutual friend offer to tell her to get in touch with me while I guess I just sit back and wait and see where I go from here.

I had been keeping this on the downlow irl too for a variety of reasons. One, and I cannot exaggerate enough, this girl is THE fucking queen bee of the scene. She has the ultimate clout. And I’m not sure I want to be advertising that within the scene itself. Second, I worried that if people saw how much I was being distressed over my situationship with her it might lead to them resenting her, and I didn’t want that. What I want is for us to have a cute if ultimately doomed-to-fail relationship that’s fun while it lasts. And that’s why I’m also intentionally leaving a lot of things out. Because I don’t want that to happen here. I want to make it very clear: no one caused me to choose the actions I did with self harm and self sabotage. Just because my feelings over these people are what led me to take those action does NOT mean that they are in any way responsible. It is VERY important for me as a person with BPD to stress this. My actions and my feelings are my own responsibility. No one “caused” me to spiral and self harm. They are not bad people. I do not blame them. Someone fucking me over romantically is not a justification to blame them for my own SH actions. And I want people to realize that if anyone tries to blame them for their own self harm. You are never responsible or liable for someone else’s actions. If someone tries to blame that shit on you you need to tread VERY carefully.

Do I have fucking adorable pictures of my sugar baby on my phone? Yes. Would I love to post them on here some day and tease her about them? Yes. She is still my cute little uwu crusty punk roadkill drowned rat motherfucker and in my own BPD way I still love and am in love with her. I mean it when I say I do not want my own negative feelings towards any of this to reflect badly on her and that my end goal is to still be a cute toxic yuri couple.

So yeah that’s. That’s what’s been up, honestly. And it feels good to get it off my fucking chest finally, even if it’s not how I wanted it to go. And I’ll keep everyone updated.

The last few months have been very hard for me. The support I’ve gotten here has kept me going when I’m not sure I could have kept going otherwise. If you’ve ever wondered if you’ve made a difference in someone’s lives I want you to read this and know unequivocally that the answer is yes and I am proof.

I love you all. Stay safe. Please do not fucking go missing and almost die.

-Punk

ps. playlist for this post (bc y not)

Bonus tracks:

[kaiasky]

If you think basic feminism of “hey centering men as a distinct victim class of hegemonic power structures is bad actually” is “boys vs girls cootie wars” and “trans women’s oppression can be fixed by removing the stigma around their perceived masculinity” is real I think there is no saving you actually

I think maybe we are speaking towards the same goal in different ways. Like yeah, I'm wholly uninterested in "men are equal victims of patriarchy" shit. & certainly I'm not particularly interested in "ooh we have to make feminism appealing to men we have to encourage Positive Masculinity" stuff I just truly do not care. base and superstructure and all that, if you want to make change you focus on "do dv & homelessness shelters accept trans ppl" and "pass antidiscrimination and bodily autonomy laws" and "build up power and support in ur local area" etc. not "masculinity can b good".

& in that sense I think a correct queer politics is one that places very little political importance on correct identity or presentation. eg almost any sentence that must reference "femininity" or "masculinity" is extremely contingent and is better replaced w more universal values like "peoples presentations are their own" and "consent is important". (note that while these values are neutral, the actions one should take are not since the values conflict with inequalities in society.)

At the risk of sacrificing convincing power for clarity, I'm gonna diagram the argument as best i can and as fairly as I can (since it's hard to talk about while half of the text is sarcastic "not me thinking x")

A. Screenshot

Gender abolition (of some kind) is a goal of the queer community.

Masculinity as a form of expression can be just one form of being.

Within (some) queer communities masculinity is currently seen as something other than "one valid form of expression among others"

People coming to accept masculinity is necessary for achieving gender abolition.

B. Replies

Accepting masculinity is not the most important step for abolishing gender, contra A4

"Accepting masculinity" as queers means accepting patriarchal society, so A2 is impossible.

Gender abolition is a goal (A1) but it does not include accepting masculinity (A4) and involves moving beyond it

C: My reply

One example of A3 is that trans women often receive undue scrutiny to their "masculine" habits/hobbies/appearance.

B2 is false since obviously somebody having "masculine" performance is not in itself predatory.

B2 affirming that masculinity is inextricably patriarchal makes the expression of it essentially a "stain" on somebody's character--a person affirming B2 would be inconsistent if they didn't view butches, transmascs, gay men, etc with suspicion.

This conclusion (C3) means that B as a whole amounts to unproductive infighting.

D: Your ask

C4 misunderstands the context, because A amounts to the idea that men are a marginalized class

C1 amounts to arguing that transmisogyny is entirely due to perceived masculinity.

Things of note:

I don't know who the first screenshot is--I'm taking them at their word, but possibly they're a total shit head in which case I understand the difference in reactions. Notably, A4 just asserts that it's a necessary precondition while B1 calls it the most important one--either that is something A has said elsewhere, or its mistakenly introduced.

I guess I'm not much of a gender abolition believer so A1/A4/B1/B3 don't matter much for me. I think however that broadly I align more with B here in that I don't think gender abolition is something where you can point to specific social preconditions as much as to material conditions that lessen the importance of gender & the strictness of its policing over time.

I'll cop to "boys vs girls cootiewar" not being entirely clear, but D1 is clearly false bc it associates 1-to-1 men with masculinity and supposes that A considers masculinity oppressed globally, instead of rejected by people who might otherwise advocate gender abolition.

WRT D2--C1 gives a limited example and does not claim that this represents most or all of transphobia.

Anyways. hope that makes sense. And more importantly I hope the first paragraphs make sense and are something we share. Shouldn't have posted a snarky reply to a snarky thread--there was no way it would ever be received productively and so the only benefit gained is in being bitter online, a pleasure I probably shouldn't be indulging in. have a nice day anon, if you have concerns or think I misunderstood, feel free to dm me

[mlsofh]

Fandom Thoughts - Fandom Etiquette

Hello Wayward Sinners!

Happy 2024, year of the Dragon on the Chinese zodiac! Hope your New Year is spent well. The extermination is over: it's only twelve days until some lucky viewers get access to Hazbin Hotel's first two episodes a whole week in advance. So I'm here to remind everyone of some basic etiquette to abide by for our early hotel habitants. One: Minors shouldn't be entering this fandom. I am not talking 17+ I am talking 16 and under. If you're a minor who is under or is 16 reading my blogs or is in the fandom: you shouldn't be. This is a fandom of an adult show, for adults made by adults. Your brain isn't developed enough to be processing some things in this show healthily no matter how mature you think you are. None of this is said with malice, but with intent to keep you safe. Even if you think you're internet savy, you should be safe. If you want to be in the fandom/you really just can't help yourself, observe from a distance and don't interact with adults. That means liking posts too. Instead, save the link in your notes to the posts you want to like when you're old enough too. Two: Do not send harassment to the Hazbin Hotel Staff(cast.) We want this show to do well, we want to see how much Viv has grown as a content creator, director, character creator and so much more. We want people to succeed. We want one of the first indie animations to get picked up to do well. That being said: the cast has done nothing to you. They did their best and they're professionals: they probably know more than you do about their craft that they've honed for years. Third: Shipping wars should not start again, period. It stressed Viv out two years ago when Chalastor week was in her birthday week. She shut that down, and requested it not be done again. We need to respect the creator herself. If we are fighting over ships then we don't get to enjoy the content of the show to it's fullest. You may ship Nifty/Husker, or Alastor/Valentino, but you don't get to send hate to people who ship Charlie/Vaggie or Sir Pentious/Angel Dust. You can have your opinion respectfully. We need to remember these characters are not ours to claim, they are Vivs. We can love them, respect them, make AUs and more! But that does not mean going and hating someone. We(the fandom) don't own these characters. Fourth: If you have access to two episodes in advance(on the 12th), reminder it's only probably a couple thousand of us who have episodes in advance! When making edits, put a spoiler IN the video not just the caption. If you're making blogs, or content, make sure you have a large spoiler warning or just wait to post the drafts until the 19th of January (when everyone get's episodes 1-4.) WARNING: MENTIONS OF GROOMING AND COM/PRO SHIPPING. THIS IS LAST ON THE POST SO IT'S EASILY SKIPPABLE. Fifth: If proshipping/comshipping posts are made, just ignore them and don't send hate to the person. It's not by any means healthy. I personally don't support it, but I truly want those people to get the help they need and deserve. Especially if they're kids. If you negatively enforce their behavior they're more likely to do it. An adult just needs to be blocked and reported. They're only human. Just report, block, and move on. If you notice an adult is perusing minors, here is what you can do!

How to Report Online Grooming Your priority in a fandom as an adult in circumstances like this will be ensuring the minors in the fandom aren't hurt. We can do a lot as adults with more experience. It's important to report abuse so perpetrators are stopped from exploiting minors. Here are some key steps to take in reporting an online abuser:

Don’t delete any messages the minor has received—these can be used as evidence! Report the perpetrator to the platform your child was using. Block the perpetrator. Save conversations and screenshots to share with local law enforcement. Reporting procedures vary state-by-state so take advantage of RAINN’s State Law Database if you suspect a minor is being groomed or is the victim of any form of abuse from an adult. It can feel scary, overwhelming, and worrying. You are not alone in your worries. You may have trauma yourself. Don't perpetuate it: help the minor. Even if they are upset by you helping just remember they're a kid who doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. You aren't in the wrong for protecting a minor! That's all for now! What do you think? Comment/reblog with your thoughts! Stay Tuned for more, Happy New Year!

[penguicorns-are-cool]

also also, saying Hamas stands for Palestinians in any way, like saying that they are freedom fighters fighting against colonization and stuff like that, is equating the Palestinian people with a literal terrorist group

According to polling, most Gazans were against the Oct 7 attack and Palestinians generally show support for the Palestinian Authority taking over governance in Gaza. Hamas only has about a 50% approval rate and polling generally shows a preference for almost any other group to govern Gaza over Hamas. None of this is surprising considering how Hamas governs and how they haven't had an election since 2006 (an election which Hamas barely won btw).

Saying that Hamas represents the Palestinian people in any way is not only false, but also supports the narrative of right wing Israeli political parties that all generally run on a security first platform that relies on a general fear of Palestinian terrorism. The idea that Hamas (a known terrorist group that wants to kill all the Jews) represents the Palestinian people and cause is in support of their campaigns. Which is very dangerous because Bibi recently electing a known terrorist (Itamar Ben Gvir who is a Kahanist) to be the defense minister and has been trying to do some really corrupt things that would give him way too much power and he really needs to get voted out.

Chances are, if you are not Israeli or keeping up with Israeli politics and researching the history, you probably don't have enough information to actually have a stance on what the solution to the conflict is. That is completely ok, but if that is you, please stop acting like you know the answers, you are spreading misinformation.

Here is a link to Standing Together though, this organization is actually doing important work to move towards a peaceful solution and also to support people in Israel and Palestine right now while combatting misinformation in the media. If you share things from them or based on what they say, you will be doing so much less damage than if you try to make your own statement or share screenshots from Twitter.

Edit: I put Yoav Gallant instead of Itamar Ben Gvir the first time. That's my mistake. Ironic that I made it on this post too

As a leftist Jew who believes strongly in the cause of dignity and freedom for the Palestinian people, and that Israel has abused them, I am begging fellow leftists to understand that real life is not a comic book. A government being “the bad guy” in a situation does not automatically make anyone who opposes it “the good guy”.

Hamas denies the Holocaust. Hamas disseminates the Protocols of the Elders of Zion—the conspiracy theory it paints is what they mean by “Zionist”. Hamas forbids foreign aid educators from teaching human rights to Palestinians, and claims that even teaching that the Holocaust happened is a war crime. Hamas has written the aim of annihilating Israel (the country and its people) into its charter—the mass slaughter and violent expulsion of 7 million Jews from the land is written into its laws.

There is no crime any state could ever do that would justify any of that; there is no act of state repression that could ever make it acceptable to side with the organization spreading Nazi pamphlets and Holocaust denial.

Oppose Bibi Netanyahu. Oppose Israel’s far-right, authoritarian government. Oppose Likud’s policies. Oppose its violence against Palestinian civilians. That isn’t antisemitic. But Hamas is—verifiably, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to its core—antisemitic. Its portrayal of Israeli Jews as blood-thirsty, child-killing master manipulators that control international media and finance is antisemitic. Its insistence that Palestinian freedom necessitates the death & expulsion of Jews from the land is antisemitic. Its redefinition of “Zionism” as a pejorative to mean genocidal Jewish/Israeli Supremacy is antisemitic.

Supporting the Palestinian people in their plight is a noble and loving goal; please never stop that. But do not let Hamas co-opt that into excusing or denying their rampant antisemitism and war crimes.

[michirukaioureincarnate]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $60,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

They're almost at the halfway mark! Please consider donating or spreading the word <3

Also, in hopes that the copy-cat effect is really a thing, here's a screenshot of my own donation [I scratched out my name for privacy reasons, obviously].

Since the beginning of these trying times for the people of Falasteen, I've made an active effort to not spend money unnecessarily on anything that I can do or make at home. This is especially when it comes to ordering out food, and instead putting those $5 to $15 aside for any situation that might need it more before I make something for myself at home.

It's times like this where I can finally reach into the accumulated amount (that would've otherwise gone to a big corpo anyway) to put to actual and beneficial use. I tend to spread out my donations across a verified list from here, Operation Olive Branch. I'd advise anyone willing to donate to head over to the 'Slow Donations' section first to get them some traction and support.

I don't really know what else to say except that I urge anyone and everyone to try and consume as less as possible from the greedy corpos that aren't giving you ANYTHING of value.

You don't need Netflix, just pirate stuff. Invest in indie authors and game producers and artists, local restaurants, seamstresses/clothing designers, etc. Keep boycotting. Become as less dependent as possible on overpriced "conveniences" that are falsely marketed for quality.

May the world know peace one day.

~ Miki | Myca ✧

[rquerdo]

OOAK Kingdom Hearts Chest

Hey party people!

So a while back, I had two boxes that were from a DIY Thanksgiving kit and thought, "wouldn't it be cool to make a Kingdom Hearts Chest?" As a kid, I've always wanted one-and now that I'm old enough to buy the materials, now's the perfect opportunity. Funny yet, later on the process, I've decided that it wasn't going to be for me but for my nephew in his upcoming baby shower. I bought a lot of gifts for him so I thought this would be a cool add-on.

Here I will send you screenshots as well as my thought process/encounters; First off, materials.

I have used the following (Quantity depends on the sizing of the box):

Cardboard (I recommend stiff boards), Acrylic Paint (Warm Yellow, Blue, and Black), Door Hinges, Paint Varnish, Modeling Foam*, Foam Rolls*, fabric, Spackling, scissors, x-acto knife, plaster rolls. Sanding paper or blocks.

*I recommend using Worbla instead of both the modeling foam and foam rolls, I explain why further down.

DISCLAIMER: I'm no professional. I will be pointing out the flaws that I've encountered throughout the process-it is up to you if you want to follow along or find a better alternative.

First off, here's what we are working with. Ideally the shape is more rounded I bought about 3 to 4 stiff boards to act as my foundation. After I've placed the stiff boards down in place, I then placed some plaster rolls to hide the seams from each stiff board planks.

At this point, I figured the bottom looked weird. So I did the same process for what I've done on the top.

I'm glad that I ended up doing this because I knew the cardboard base was not going to hold for a while. I've made some supports (don't know what these would actually be called) so that I don't have to stack the stiff boards two or three times. If this was regular cardboard, I wouldn't do it since cardboard's weak when it comes to carrying weight, but luckily this held up throughout the process of making it.

Time for the speckling.

Overall, this process was overwhelming. At this point, I thought I messed up since the speckling didn't want to adhere to the chest at first. However, with lots of patience and elbow grease, I've managed to get it done! I had to do this in multiple layers since soft speckling tends to go everywhere. When it's harden, it's easier to work with.

Oh, and yes this step was very messy. Especially when it came to sanding.

Overall, the chest ended two of my sanding block's lives and created a huge mess. Please sand with caution; don't inhale the dust! I know that there are methods to reducing the dust flying everywhere (like using water), but I was afraid to do since I've never used speckling for a project before; not sure if it would affect the cure process of some sort.

Once sanded, I then made a sketch of where everything will be going and how I want the pattern to be. I knew I wanted to make my own version of the chest instead of trying to make it a carbon copy of it, so I've implemented some key parts (like the keyhole and crown), but everything else was loosely altered.

Just cutting the keyhole alone took me about 2 hours. I wanted to make sure that it was symmetrical and stayed in place nicely. I used Foam Rolls to create the trimming however I highly recommend using worbla instead. My local art store did not have any more worbla so I figured that this was another alternative. I found it difficult to work with and when gluing it in place, it would want to come out. Worbla tends to get sticky when heat is applied so glue might not even be necessary if you plan on applying a lacquer on the entire chest.

To hide the foam seams, I decided to use modeling foam. This...was another medium that I found interesting. Applying it is not as difficult but when it's exposed to air for about 10 minutes, the foam gets extremely sticky. Imagine slime without the activator, or imagine playing with a melted marshmallow. Again, it would just be easier to use worbla.

I knew I wanted the chest to open...like a chest so I got some door hinges. So the screws provided were too small for the chest so I ended up buying longer screws. Overall, I wish I had a drill to better secure the screws and bolts together, but not the worst thing ever. Still stays in place.

The paint job was fun, but difficult..my goodness...

I knew the modeling foam would stick out like a sore thumb and unlike other clay or pastes, you can't sand it. So I got my hot glue and created some texture which I think did a well-good job on hiding the foam. While contemplating about the overall design, I thought it would be cool to give the yellow a metallic, gold sheen to it. I thought it was a good move. I love how the hot glue sticks out with the gold compared to just using the yellow paints.

Oh the inside... It's a hot mess.

Instead of trying to paint, sand and use even more modeling foam. I've decided to hide this ugly mess with some fabrics that I have around from previous projects.

I've glued some gold fabric onto some felt (not necessary to be honest). and applied it on the base and the roof of the chest. I didn't have any blue fabric but I did have some shiny purple fabric. I think it works well with the gold.

(I know the base looks like silver but I guarantee you that it's gold)

After applying two layers of lacquer to prevent the paint from chipping, I'm finally done!

So happy with how this turned out! To be quite honest, this project took forever to finish. I think I spent about 15 hours on it? I know for some people, that sounds ridiculous but let me remind you that this is the first time for me and this entire project had a lot of trial and error.

I know there's a lot of flaws with it but one thing about me, I like to cherish my artwork-even if it's a hot mess.

Self Critiques:

Not use foam rolls/ modeling foam but rather worbla.

Pay more attention to how the chest looks opened and closed

Be more patient when applying the fabrics inside the chest. It looks messy in my opinion and I know I could've been more patient when cutting and folding the seam allowance.

Invest in a drill. the latch is not exactly the most secured when opening.

[queersatanic]

Please, we are begging you: stopping caring about "dunking" on conservatives and start caring about boring stuff like "financial transparency", "litigation history and results", or "the owners' pattern of endorsing eugenics and starting cults"

More from @leo4repro:

Here is some of what Indigenous Women Rising and others have said. [screenshot text from Indigenous Women Rising below] Please stop making clout chasing and grifting easier. Like I promise you the Right does not give a flying fuck about your TikTok followers or you giggling about them in your group chat because they are literally genocidal. They are going to kill people and are already killing people. Their goals are much bigger than yours.

Indigenous Women Rising in reply to @/custom_reality]

excellent question, thank you for coming to the comments with curiosity! Our issue is that no abortion funds in NM were ever consulted with to see what we actually need. Since Roe fell last year, many providers have been flocking to NM from states where it's illegal. This harms the communities they come from, where care and support is still needed, and it harms the work we've done in our own communities for years. It's about the trust we've built with families. Our state has 23 tribes and many, many migrant families who do work on the ground to secure abortion access. TST is diverting funds and media away from what community organizers and families are doing. we are also very concerned about the history of this org not being transparent about funds and the lack of cultural competency in their providing healthcare for our majority BIPOC state because they haven't taken the time to know the landscape.

_@dial.t0n3_

I cant speak on their doings in NM but I can say that the TST uses women who are denied access to abortion for clout. They claim they can help ppl get abortions by going under "religious freedom" laws but they actually csnt. I mean if abortion is legally considered murder in a state, of course u cant get away with what is legally considered murder due to religious reasons. They have abandoned women whose cases they deem not bringing them enough clout, sometimes the women will only find out TST has backed out after they show up to court. Also as someone whose friends w/ pol who used to work with them. TST also has a pattern of covering up sexual misconduct within their organization. As well as the fact that their founder has appeared on far right [podcasts] under a pseudonym where he espouses antisemitic views as well as support for eugenics.

@aaaasssiia in reply to @luke.m.cunningham:

When TST was hailed as "the last hope for abortion access" by Fortune, Salon, countless smaller and local news outlets in September 2021, literally every actual abortion activist and abortion access coalition/ org/ service reached out to them. As an active TST member at the time I emailed, called, begged them to refute these claims and to partner with the work already being done. Instead, they accepted their clout, blocked accounts, and unleashed an army of single-track followers to attack the likes of Yellowhammer Fund, We Testify, and more. These followers, given the opportunity to learn and take their heartache back to TST (as was my journey), instead took their anger out on groups who (again) have been doing this work forever. Who aren't clout chasing and grifting. Who show where the money goes and get actually pregnant people the abortions they need and want. I implore you to look further into this on your own. Thanks for reading.

Moreover, we’re still being sued by The Satanic Temple in federal court.

TST is also still suing Newsweek and its reporter for writing about us. In addition, the Temple is now suing a TikToker in Texas for talking about our case. Check the pinned post or our link bio for more.

[ZINE] The Satanic Temple cannot help you get an abortion

(and it does not deserve your support)

[Zine with pages in order]

[Zine ordered for two per page, print front and back, flip on short edge]

[Jezebel article]

[Riverfront Times article]

[Sources roundup]

When members of The Satanic Temple see criticism of them and their failed efforts in the name of abortion rights, they often say, “Well, at least they’re doing something.”

Yes, what they’re doing is actively making things worse and making money off of it.

“The Satanic Temple is not going to save you.”

[jeonjk0504]

why didn’t you say anything about the racism bts have faced these past days :(

Hey anon!

I actually haven‘t been online here because of the racism debate. I was on twitter and was supporting it there on two accounts nonstop! if you want to follow me, my @ is also jeonjk0504 :)

You are completely right though, i should have spoken up on my platform here sooner, to educate my followers on this really important matter!

If i make mistakes or should word things differently, please let me know, as you can tell i‘m not native.

The short version:

Credits to @ squishykosmos (twt)!

What happened?

3 days ago, the german radio host Matthias Mattuschik from the station Bayern3 spew racist remarks about BTS because of their MTV Unplugged cover of coldplay. He is a fanboy of coldplay and only wanted to introduce their song ‚Fix you‘ but somehow it was necessary to explain to his listeners why it was an utter insult that BTS had an MTV unplugged concert (he called it paradox, because it‘s a boyband) where they were allowed to cover his favorite song. Coldplay allowed the cover by the way and even commented on it positively.

Here are two links from his original rant, translated in english:

https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365211269133971458?s=21 (Part 1)

https://twitter.com/atinystrawbery/status/1365052883771785219?s=21 (Part 2)

As a german i know that to other people our language sounds quite agressive in general, but this is a whole different level. This isn‘t said in a jokingly way, it‘s pure hatred.

He called BTS a virus against which hopefully there will be a vaccine soon, that their cover of coldplay is blasphemy and that they are little pisser who should get a 20-year vacation in North Korea. Considering the rising violence against Asians all over the world because of Covid, his speech is extremely harmful and normalizes hate against Asians apart from the fact that it was racism in it’s purest form. Why the wish for a South Korean Group to have vacation in the North Korean dictatorship is inhumane and racist, i hopefully don‘t have to explain further. He even said, he can‘t be xenophobic, because he drives a korean brand car (which turned out to be japanese). The new ‚i can‘t be racist, i have a black friend‘.

This also hasn‘t been the first time, in 2018 he made an antisemetic comparison between smoker and jews for which he got a little attention, but no consequences.

Furthermore ARMY dug up a picture on his instagram from 2020 with the caption ‚ Is more evidence needed?!?,‘

A short note:

What makes this even more infuriating is that the radio station is regulated by public-law and german citizens are OBLIGATED to pay for it. We literally are forced to pay money to a radio station that broadcasts openly racist slurs! And no, it‘s not allowed. They have policies that explicitly say they are not allowed to discriminate, they have to support diversity and have to be politically and economically independant.

Do they give a fuck? Apparently not really.

Did Bayern3 answer the hashtags and the pressure?

They did, first came a short nonpology where they said that the show, which Matthias Matuschik is broadcasting, is known for his direct and honest opinions and that he could have worded it better. They are sorry if anyone felt insulted, which is excusing the feeling of the fans, but not the act in itself.

After Army answered with the hashtag ‚Racism is not an opinion‘ and various media coverage surfaced, they posted a second ‚apology‘, where they -again- said that they are distancing themselves from what was said and Matthias has always been an avid supporter of refugees so he is very far away from being a racist. (Supporting refugees doesn’t excuse you from saying racist things though.) Matthias stated that he is shocked from the reactions, that he is ‚sorry if people felt what he said was racist‘ and that his family is getting death threats. (which is in no way acceptable of course.) They would review what was said so it doesn‘t happen again.

Here you can read the statements in german and translated in english:

First statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365087239756259330?s=21

Second statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365305564050382849?s=21

This would have probably been the beginning of a conversation, if Matthias wouldn‘t have went to facebook after his second apology to like a supporting post that basically stated that the topic is way overhyped and in the 80s you were allowed to say your opinion without people getting butthurt (this is a short form.) He completely revised his remorse literally the same day after the updated apology and supported a statement that was gaslighting the people who critized him. You can read the facebook post here:

https://twitter.com/traveltomyrm/status/1365321397342461957?s=21

Since then: Nothing. My mom told me yesterday they‘re playing dynamite a lot, i told her to switch the channel.

News Coverage

Thankfully, we got a lot of support from I-ARMY and K-ARMY, otherwise we wouldn‘t have been able to trend the hashtags day and night and kept them in the top categories in germany and worldwide. We also got a lot of support from international media who called out the racism and put them into context in really amazing articles. (Also K-Media and J-Media but i only have screenshots, no links) Here are a few of them:

https://rollingstoneindia.com/xenophobic-german-presenters-comments-about-bts-are-just-the-tip-of-the-racist-iceberg/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrolli/2021/02/26/bts-were-once-again-the-subject-of-racist-on-air-remarks-and-received-a-pathetic-non-apology/

We even got celebrities like halsey, max, lauv, steve aoki, JJ Ryan, DJ Swivel, Liam McEwan, Zara Larsson, MTV UK, Columbia Records and some more bring attention to the issue and show their support for BTS in the face of racism.

This support was probably the reason why we even got a second ‚apology‘, because guess what? German media ain‘t having it. Since the beginning of our protest, i think i saw 2 articles in total which actually called it racism, various newspapers and online magazines were downplaying it by talking about ‚insults‘ and concentrating on Matthias calling BTS pisser instead of quoting the actual racist remarks he made. We got no TV news whatsoever. So naturally, german locals looking at this protest think that Fans are going on a rampage because their favorite boygroup got insulted.

It has been maddening. The radio station and host have been trying to sit this whole thing out for days, in hope we lose energy over the weekend and it‘s draining to not be heard or taken seriously. For me it‘s still a priviledged perspective, because i don‘t have to bear consequences when this thing is over, one way or another. But for Asians in our country, also some of my friends, this horror in times of covid will continue. The lack of serious German Media coverage has been frustrating and embarrasing to say the least, but also shown again, that the topic gets overshadowed by prejudices against KPop, the fanbase and Asians as part of satirical fun (which it isn‘t).

Why is that?

This is my personal take and not a deep analysis, just my personal observations: Germany might be progressive in a lot of aspects, but they still have deeply ingrained every day racism against asians and they have a huge problem realizing and admitting to that. We don‘t have a lot of asian representation and there is a huge alieniation from asians for a lot of german 50+ (also less, but those are the ones in power mostly). Racism against Asians is not seen enough and people don‘t empathize, partly because they‘re white privileged people who don‘t have to live with certain stigma, partly because they simply don‘t care to educate themselves about minorities in their own country. This ignorance is widespread, if it doesn‘t happen in front of your doorstep, it‘s probably nonexistant. It‘s also not only reserved for Asians, january 2021 we had a talkshow where 5 white german people talked happily about what minorities such as Romani people think as insulting or racist. They did get a lot of backleash because obviously they talk about matters, without letting minorities be part of the discussion, but real consequences? Nope.

I doubt that this protest will get Matthias Matuschik fired (which it should if you are openly racist on a public platform), because the pressure is too low and the radio station has shown with their first statement that they thought it‘s rather funny than problematic. But i don’t know what‘s going to happen. Apart from being an ARMY, i am an adult who condemns racism in any way or form. Why german media chooses to overlook the essence of the debate and makes it a hystercial fanbase issue is beyond me.

If you want to have a look yourself, you can follow German Fanbase accounts, such as @ BTS_UPDATES_GER for updates in german and english.

And at last, here is a thread on how german media reproduces Anti Asian Racism : https://twitter.com/storiesbythuy/status/1366073706817196046?s=21

German Armys are trying to come up with a plan to gain more attention for the topic at the moment, so we‘ll see how things turn out! Please support us if possible!

[askaceattorney]

Dear Asexual-Deesasters,

Mod Edgeworth: 

If you want to know the answer to that question, go to this link.

Dear Skibot99,

Co-Mod: I’m fairly certain it was The Mod, but I don’t know for sure.  He actually had another one before it, made from an old Ace Attorney musical animation.  I haven’t been able to locate that video, unfortunately, but here’s the old banner:

Ah...  Those were good days.  Good days.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: It’s fine.  Besides, it won’t be too long before those letters are accepted, so maybe we’ll hold onto them until that time.

Dear skibot99 again,

Mod Edgeworth: The Lost Turnabout hands down. All logic is thrown out the window the moment Phoenix had amnesia. It’s clear the Judge knew something was wrong with Phoenix, so why didn’t he call for a recess or check on Phoenix? Not to mention Wellington was annoying. He’s probably the only character I would be hesitant to play as when answering letters, if only because he was so unbearable.

As for Turnabout Ablaze, I do agree that it is a drag to get through in the end, though the entire game of AAI was boring, aside from the game mechanics. As a case by itself, I wouldn’t put it as my least favorite, if only because I did get some funny parts out of it.  It also contributed to the overall story, whereas The Lost Turnabout could just be taken out and it wouldn’t effect the overarching plot.

Co-Mod: I’d probably have to go with Turnabout Big Top.  I honestly couldn’t figure out the part where you have to present Max’s poster without consulting a walkthrough.  Why couldn’t we just present Max himself?  Besides that, the ending was largely underwhelming -- the murder weapon was hidden under Acro’s blanket the entire time, but instead of seeing a screenshot of it there, we just have to imagine it.�� Maybe it was a filler case, but that was no excuse for it to end so poorly.  Not to mention one of the witnesses was a literal puppet.

It’s hard truth, Trilo.  Live with it.

Dear skibot99 and Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: I… think I heard from her when the localization of DGS was announced? I know Mod Kristoph and Mod Maya introduced themselves when I came into the group. There’s a third person, but I only heard from her once. As for what’s going on with her… I don’t know.

As for the flooding the inbox, it’s fine. I won’t promise a letter or two won’t be deleted, but we may make an exception and I’d hardly consider 4-5 different letters flooding the inbox. However, I do highly suggest lowering your letter sending to no more than three a day to prevent deletion of your letters. The only time I’d say your letters are flooding the inbox is when you’re sending 10-20 of them, especially of the same letter, and we have to scroll down for a while to get to the next letter. We will only choose three out of that pile and delete the rest.

And yes, we do have a few that send us 10-20 of the same letter to multiple characters in the span of five minutes. Geez.

Co-Mod: Mod Paups has had to remain absent for personal reasons, and sadly, has recently communicated to me that she wishes to leave the blog entirely.  Thanks for all you’ve contributed to this blog, Mod Paups, and best of luck in whatever you do next!

(Referenced Letter)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Edgeworth: Since I answered this one, I shall answer your letter.

(^ Why do I always use this sprite? ^) Actually, the localization never specified if Manfred Von Karma was born in Germany or not. In fact, we never knew the German part until Justice For All when Franziska Von Karma was stated to have flown all the way from Germany. It never specifies any reason for this and fans were quick to jump to the conclusion that it means the Von Karma family were German, which… isn’t entirely true? Manfred Von Karma never said he lived in Germany and, for all we know, Franziska could’ve lived in Germany to study law or something.

Now, the OG does give us more specific detail on this, being why I answered this the way I did. In the OG, both Von Karma’s were born Japanese, but lived in America or at least have an estate there. It specified that they were originally born in Japan, which would be translated to LA, California in the localization. While using the OG canon isn’t normal here, I will use it, if the localization doesn’t specify things. In this case, it never specified if the Von Karma’s were born in Germany or if Manfred Von Karma lived in America. Since he had to wait out the Statue of Limitations for DL-6, we can assume he lived in LA for 15 years or more. That means he’s American.

I am still getting the hang of writing letters, but I try to stick to canon as much as possible. If you believe we’ve made an error in our letters, feel free to let us know, but also show proof, if we go against canon. We’ll be sure the letter is sent to the right mod or else fix it.

Dear  Bluedragoncody,

Mod Edgeworth: I... don’t know how to feel about that.

Also, I accidentally deleted your previous letter before this one when trying to post it on here. I’m so sorry about that. If you could remember it, would you send it again?

Co-Mod: I’ll just respond to this with an old classic:

Dear Aceattorneyismyjam,

Mod Edgeworth: I-I’m not a pro! I accidentally deleted an important mod question from bluedragoncody, because of my inexperience. Oof! Again, so sorry!

Granted, I am good with digital art and writing essays, but I’m still trying to get the hang of being a mod here. Believe me, I do get corrected on several mistakes I do here. I can’t really call myself a pro just yet. I’ve only just started becoming a mod here last month lol

Dear Dahlia,

Mod Edgeworth: I thank you for your support of this blog and my essay. Manfred Von Karma is also my favorite villain and someone I do feel is underestimated as a one dimensional villain. I think people hate him so much, because of how he ruined Miles Edgeworth’s life without looking at the bigger picture. They focus on the bad things with their black colored glasses without dissecting Manfred Von Karma’s character as a whole. 

One thing I love about this blog, even before becoming a mod, is that no one here ever portrayed Manfred Von Karma as the one dimensional villain. He can be snappy at times, but as proven in many of our previous letters, he’s also portrayed as being calm when threatened, polite at times and absolutely loves his wife and children. Yes, he’s a terrible person, but that’s what makes him so interesting. He’s a bad, evil person that does good things from time to time. It doesn’t justify any of his horrible deeds, murder included, but it does make him human.

Co-Mod: I’m...going to assume you’re a different Dahlia.  (I’m grabbing a Magatama of Parting just in case, though.  I’m sure you can understand.)

Anyway, thanks for being such a loyal follower!  This blog’s been through a lot of changes since it began, and since I joined it back in 2017, so I’m glad it’s still a good source of enjoyment for you.  I’ve seen all sorts of cringe by now, by the way (some of which I wrote myself), so don’t worry about it.

I’m also glad that the characters still sound like themselves and not like us.  The hilarious personalities and quirks given to them by Capcom’s writers, as well as the humanity in so many of them, make them easy to relate to, and thus fairly easy to mimic.  I may have said something like this before, but I see myself in a lot of them -- in Athena’s fear of inadequacy, in Apollo’s desire for justice in a world where it’s hard to find, in Sebastian’s confusion about where to go next after his world falls apart, and possibly even in the von Karmas’ desire for perfection.  I of course identify with their positive feelings as well -- Phoenix’s smugness when he gets things right, Athena’s joy after pulling off a victory in court, Adrian’s pride after her self-confidence is restored, etc. -- but there’s something about the struggles they face that make them easier to relate to, on top of being that much more awesome in the end.

Unfortunately, I can’t promise anything about this blog continuing on in perpetuity.  For one thing, I don’t plan on being around forever (I’m fairly certain the other Mods don’t, either), and for that matter, there’s also no telling how long Tumblr will be around.  All I can promise is that I’ll give my best while I’m here, and that the love from you and everyone else who shares it here is sure to be what keeps us going.  Thank you for your contribution!

Dear TurqouiseJavelin,

Mod Edgeworth: Hm... not bad ideas. Though, we mods choose our own mod names under the condition that it doesn’t match anyone else’s mod name.

Co-Mod: What Mod Edgeworth said.  Choosing the name ���Mod Athena” may or may not increase your chances of being hired, though.  *wink, wink*

Dear Anonymous, 

Mod Edgeworth: Actually, Gregory was stated in the Autopsy to have died by a gunshot. However, you do bring up something interesting. If Gregory Edgeworth realized he was dead and last remembered Robert Hammond strangling him, he wouldn’t think “I died by the shot of a gun.” Since the Detectives weren’t aware that victim had died unconscious, they’d assume the victim would recall being shot and killed. This makes me wonder if Gregory Edgeworth was channeled, but never brought to court to be cross-examined.

There are still holes, but I do like your aspect on DL-6.

Co-Mod: Dang...  No matter how many times you come back to this game, there’s always something new to think about.  I honestly hadn’t considered those details about Yanni Yogi’s trial.  Your explanation makes the most sense to me, but there’s one other possibility regarding Gregory’s testimony -- he may have chosen to lie about who murdered him in order to protect his son from a murder charge.  That’s all open to interpretation, of course, so your guess is as good as ours.

It’s a good thing we’re not actual defense attorneys, huh?

-The Mods

[snugglebuddyhan]

Saw someone say Owen Ovadoz makes them uncomfortable yet he’s amazing????? And I??

Owen not only defended his friend who was asking underage girls for nudes, but also told us to mind our own business when he was confronted. The guy is a fucking pedophile and predator and Owen immediately running to his defense instead of calling him out, reporting him or at least dropping him as a friend speaks volumes on the many reasons he doesn’t deserve anything good in life

He’s also a pedo himself. There’s screenshots of him being sexually inappropriate with a minor. The fan just wanted a reply from him and he said “only if you let me smash you from behind” and went on to tell them to be his slave despite the fan saying they were uncomfortable. Absolutely disgusting. He’s no better than his friend

He also said he hates white women and wants to rape them. He was without a doubt mobbed with angry fans the next day. He tried to justify his words by saying he was drunk, but nah, he said what he said and he meant what he meant. There's no getting away with that shit. He “apologized” but really just attacked us and told us once again to mind our own business. Told us to stop being “nosy motherfuckers” SIR?? You were live when you said it. How does that make US nosy??

He made a joke out of the BLM movement by calling it a challenge. The second people brought the movement to his attention he dug himself an even deeper grave. I wonder why people even bothered to ask him to speak about the movement considering the type of person he is. I mean, I get it. He’s a Korean rapper profiting off a culture that doesn’t belong to him, so him giving back or supporting the literal blueprint to his career would only make sense, but once again, this is Owen we’re talking about. Not gonna happen in a million years

He said “I won’t acknowledge the struggles of Black people. Like, why do I have to? I know what the campaign is. I don’t give a fuck man. I’m still making money” like???????? This the man that's so amazing to you?? Literal trash and for anybody that tries to assume I’m lying I got his ass screen recorded. I got my receipts. Don’t worry about that

I just really despise him and anyone who supports him. To see people call him amazing sets fire to my blood. How can he be amazing after all he’s said and done? What I listed is only HALF of the shit he’s gotten himself into. I would be here all day if I were to type up how horrible he is

The way people have their heads shoved up artists asses is another reason the locals don’t fuck with us. Fans will throw all morals out the window for people that don’t even know they exist. I love Kpop more than anything. Been a fan for 8 years, but I won’t hesitate to drop an idol in a second if they fuck up. Same goes for Khh artists. Ain’t gonna be no “but what if” or trying to find ways to justify their actions. It's always “they didn’t meant it” or “they didn’t know any better” and I have to laugh, because these people are not babies. They are grown ass men and women. If I know better then so should they. It’s basic human shit everyone knows not to say or do a majority of the time anyway. They just don’t care, bc they are famous enough to get away with it

I'm sick of them always being an exception when it comes time to face the consequences. Let an artist I like say something homophobic, racist or controversial in general and especially without acknowledging their fuck up or they apologize in a way that gaslights the ones affected (I also hate when they say “if I offended anyone” bitch the FUCK you did) then it's the plank, bc at the end of the day I don’t know none of these people

Anyway, fuck Owen

[stellarfirmaquotes]

[ID: A screenshot of the Stellar Firma episode 6 transcript reading:

DAVID : Uh, what are the species that don't like humans ?

TREXEL : Most of them. Most of them

END ID]

[ashandboneca]

Racism, abuse, and why I don’t consider myself a part of the ‘community’

I’d like to talk about the event that pushed me away from the idea of a pagan community, and forced me inwards to further develop my own practice - and about the events of the last few years in regards to continued abuses in the pagan community. About 6 years ago, I started to look into the Norse pantheon. I had worked with Thor in the past, and about 6 or 7 prior to that I did an experiment where I worked with the Aesir for a month. At that point in my life, I didn't connect with them. I don't know why I didn't, I partially blame the terrible book I had for guidance, and the fact that the person who initially agreed to guide me flaked out. However, this time around I endeavoured to learn as much as I could from a reputable source, because the last time I had no idea what I was doing. I approached my friend, who is a practicing forn sidr heathen, and they agreed to teach me what they knew. We spent a number of sessions discussing cosmology and theology. I felt confident going forward, armed with book recommendations and a passion to learn further. I wrote a bit about my experiences openly on my previous blog with Odinn. Interactions with him were not sought after, but something that merely happened. When gods or spirits or ancestors come calling, you answer in some way out of respect. I wrote more about my experiences, and different techniques I utilized to connect with him. None of them were specifically Heathen - but I don't soley identify as Heathen, so I figured if that was an issue, Odinn wouldn't have shown up in the first place.

Some time later, my friend had messaged me to let me know they had gotten some hate mail about me via Witchvox (which no longer exists, but used to be a connection board for finding pagans and witches in your area, as well as open groups, etc). I was initially gobsmacked. Why the hell is someone emailing her in regards to something I did? Wouldn't have been more productive to email or message me to resolve whatever issue? I found it who it was. This person was, at that time, a member of a well recognized organization locally who put on events and rituals - an organization whose first mandate is "We hold that each one of us has their own path to follow to truth and spirit." To be honest, I had never really interacted with this person beyond being paid to do so in my former job at a pagan bookshop. We attended a few of the same events, but never really interacted. There was no real beef. I wasn't particularly fond of said person, but I had no real issues with them - so this came sort of out of left field. I sat on it for a bit.  I did not reply to the sender. Instead, I decided to post the initial email on my previous blog. Inevitably, someone is going to disagree with how you practice or what you do, even if you're not doing anything wrong. The  point I think is important to underline is that you do not need to stand for other people trying to tear you down, assert some kind of moral superiority over you, or telling you how and when you should be practicing, unless your practice is appropriative - in which case you should be taking a long, hard look at yourself. As heathenry is an open tradition, I had no concerns. I also think transparency is very important, and when people behave badly they often do so to gain something from it. Whether it is attention, drama, or they feel they are in a safe space to do so due to anonymity.  So, by posting the email (albeit in edited format - I removed all identifying information about said person, because I wanted to focus on the behaviour, not the person), I felt I was addressing something that more people should have been addressing. Afterwards, my friend received a few more emails about how I was 'pissing on their ancestors' and etc. My friend told them, in no uncertain terms, that the emails were unwelcome, the issue was none of their business, and to fuck off. I also got a few emails, a few messages on Witchvox, a few comments, and a lovely comment from a sockpuppet account here on tumblr, as well as finding out my writing was posted to be mocked because I wasn't 'heathen' enough - with screenshots! I did not respond to anything, just kept record of everything in case it was needed. I disagree with the idea of bringing in some third party who is uninvolved to do one's dirty work. If someone has an issue with how someone else is practicing, they need to question whether it's something to address. Bringing in someone uninvolved is both cowardly and childish. They did not ask to be involved, and I'm not sure what involving another person serves to carry a point. Fight your own battles, or say nothing.

There were a few other instances. A series of screencaps of this person’s continued racist, sexist, and abusive behaviour was provided to a few of us. A known leader was accused of racism and verbal abuse by other members of the community with credible evidence. This leader had a pattern of setting up multiple Facebook accounts and when one was found they would set up a new one with a new name. They talked at length about their feelings on immigration, POC in the Heathen community, and interfaith. They advocated violence and celebrated terrorist acts. Some really troubling, disgusting stuff.

We did what we thought was right - we emailed the organization to tell them and offer proof via said screencaps. In the response, we were told, and I am not bullshitting, that this person was a valued member of the community, that they are 'proud' of their heritage (uh, so am I, but I don't run my mouth off about diversity being white genocide), and that we could essentially go pound sand. I quote "own personal outlook on (their) culture and (their) path. (They are) entitled to (their) own practice as much as anyone of us are, and (they) cares deeply for (their) culture.  (They) makes a significant contribution to the Pagan community with (their) efforts through (group). (They are) a hard worker and has accomplished a great many things in (their) time on the board, a commitment that is not to be taken lightly. (They) fulfill (their) duties as a board member admirably."

Do I agree with their hot take on this? No. I think if someone comes to you with an accusation of that kind of wrongdoing, you have a duty to do some manner of preliminary investigation, because if you are in a position where you are teaching people and have authority, those students need to feel safe. You need to determine if the accusations have any truth, and if they are found to be false, feel free to stand behind and assert your belief in the accused. I truly believe the harasser/abuser showed their group the email, and they spun it in some way to discredit us.

Complicity via ignorance is still complicity - it's enough to tarnish an organization's good name. In the working world, business owners have been hung out to dry because of their racist, homophobic, or sexist employee's actions. The whole Kenny Klein situation happened for years because people excused his behaviour and allowed other people to be abused.  We are all finger-wagging and clucking when people try to bring up this behaviour  - don't be starting drama, oh that's just how (name) is, oh that's just rumours. Look, everyone - assholes, creeps, criminals, and predators exist in every faith, every organization. We are so quick to sweep it under the rug, so rushed to prevent judgement, that we always forget that one important fact. While I think it's important not to jump on every bad thing you hear about people, I do think it's important to have an open and frank discussion about proper behaviour while in a position of power. Especially if proof of misdeeds are being offered.

This group, and their lack of action, stood complicit in this person's bad behaviour. If they made the choice to stand behind a racist, bigoted person who spends their time trying to harass people online (I am not the only one, I have been told - there have been multiple people, including some of their own family members), that is their choice. They have made that choice, and they have chosen to accept any repercussions going along with it. They chose to stand behind an abuser.

Sarah Lawless, back in 2018, named a number of known abusers in the wider PNW community. The flack she received for being brave to stand up and call that shit out was disgusting.

Abusers are coddled and protected in pagan communities. They are viewed as elders, as productive members of the community,  as local heroes. While I have been fortunate to encounter very little sexual harassment in the pagan community, I have suffered other abuses and harassment that has shown me that, just like the priests and cardinals in the Vatican, pagans protect and believe only those in their clique. And there are cliques in the community, have no doubt about that.

Sarah pointed out that the ideal community is a fantasy - I agree. Stories I have heard from others about their own experiences in the 'safe and welcoming' pagan community would break your heart. One person I spoke with said 'it's scary to even fathom trying to approach anyone, because it's hard to know who to trust, who might lure you in and take advantange of you'. That is a sad statement, and one I know too well. I have a tendency to keep abuse like this close to the chest because I have been burned by people in the past. There is no spiritual support for people who get abused - no chaplains, no pastoral care, no therapists.

These were people who were putting everything on the line to be heard, and the vitriol and hatred and lies I had seen made my blood boil. This is precisely why people do not come forward. They could put everything on the line - in Sarah's case, the safety of her partner at the time and children - and people will still find a way to claim the survivors are lying. Why? What do the survivors get out of lying about their abuse? What person would come forward, knowing they will be attacked, confronted, slandered, and encounter more abuse, if they weren't telling the truth? Why would any survivor put themselves through that unless there is truth? The most stalwart defenders claim 'they couldn't have done it, I've never seen them do anything to me!' Humans are complicated and complex beings, with many facets and many faces. The face you see may not be the same face others see. The John Doe you know and the John Doe I know may be the same person, but very different relationships. 

It comes down to this: You can't 'believe survivors' if you're supporting abusers.

You can't support survivors if you're sheltering abusers.

You can't help survivors if you're siding with abusers.

You can't call it a safe community if you don't protect it's members.

Standing up for myself and others lost me “friends” who ditched me about the ‘drama’, and my community.  Something needs to change. It is inevitable that change will befall the community, and those denizens had better wise up quickly. There are a lot of young, vulnerable people looking for guidance and safety, and the community better fucking step up and prove they are willing to protect their members, or they have become no better than the Christian groups who continue to enable their abuse. We need willing leaders to push forward to make the community better. We need dedicated, smart, and savvy people to navigate a new and better future for paganism, because it's got a death rattle going on and it needs the kiss of a new life.

Burn the whole of the modern pagan community down. Burn down the groups that perpetuate abuse, that enable abusers, and grow something better and safe from the ashes. Dismantle the sexist, enabling, racist, oversexed community with it's abusive elders, cleanse it with fire, and create a place where people can come together without having to fear predators.

The only I have learned from watching my and other’s experiences is that we shouldn't call out wrongdoing in the community, because I have gotten abuse hurled at me for it and I have seen others who have done the same get more and worse abuse. People get mad, they accuse those who come forward of 'causing drama' or 'rocking the boat'.

That is a terrible lesson. A witch is sovereign unto themselves.

Bitches, this boat is rocking. Grab on, or drown.

This is my own story. I have posted links for further review down below.

Further reading:

Dealing With Toxic People in the Pagan Community

Sarah Lawless’ post about her suffered abuse, via the Wayback Machine

Abuse, the Pagan Community, and Our Commitments

Abuse Within Paganism - a taboo topic?

A Crisis of Faith

Authenticity and Racism in Contempory Paganism

This is not a new issue - via livejournal, 2006

Cultural Appropriation in Neopaganism

[freudensteins-monster]

Live From My Bedroom! It’s Darcy Lewis!

Based on a fic prompt I received forever ago and have been working on ever since.

Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.

Please note that this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read. xoxox

Chapter One: Whatever Happened to Darcy Lewis?

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Video opens on a cheerful woman in her 30’s sitting in what looks like a teenager’s bedroom from the 90’s. The walls are covered in band/movie posters and the shelves are full of books, Barbies, and other toys from the era. The woman has long wavy brown hair and she is wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a Grumpy Bear symbol on it.]

Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, cashing in on the childhood nostalgia train by launching my very own youtube channel. [winning smile] So… Whatever Happened to Darcy Lewis? This was a question posed to me by a random stranger after she had been staring at me for a solid five minutes as I stood in the tampon aisle of my local grocery store trying to make a decision.

[Cut scene]

[Text on screen: *Dramatic recreation]

[Darcy, dressed in basic t-shirt, staring at shelf of tampons]

[notices someone watching her]

[turns head]

Darcy dressed up like a yoga mom, caught staring: OMG. I am so sorry. It’s just that you look just like that kid from that tv show.

Darcy, dressed in a basic t-shirt, holding two boxes of tampons: [deadpan voice] I get that all the time.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [deep in thought] Whatever happened to that girl anyway?

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] I heard she moved to Florida to breed alligators.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [shocked face] Really?!

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] …No.

[End cut scene]

So, yeah, I am that kid from that tv show. In 1990, at the age of five, I was cast in the sitcom Live from Suburbia! If you don’t remember it you were probably watching Full House. That, or you’re just too young. It’ll be thirty years this month since Live from Suburbia! first aired, and come December I am going to be thirty-five years old.

[video goes black and white, zooms in on a distraught Darcy’s face]

[Psycho shower scene music plays]

[Darcy shakes herself out of it and video returns to normal]

So, yeah, I forgive you if you haven’t seen it.

[Text flashes on screen: HEY NETFLIX! PICK IT UP ALREADY!]

My parents have probably never even seen an episode they weren’t on set for either. They were never really keen on the idea of me becoming a child actor. They’re both college professors – they were prepared for, like, mathletes or debate club, not driving me to auditions and having me take classes with a tutor in a trailer parked outside a soundstage. [laughs] But I was super obsessed with Drew Barrymore in E.T. and when my mom explained that E.T. wasn’t real, and that Drew was an actress, I decided that was what I wanted to do. So when I heard people talking about auditions being held at a local shopping mall, and that they were looking for a “precocious” 5-6 year old girl, I kind of demanded that my parents let me go. That audition was for a cereal commercial – I didn’t get it, but the casting director liked me so when they were starting the casting process for Live from Suburbia! they asked me to audition for the role of Siouxsie.

[Text appears on screen: *NOT SUSIE. SIOUXSIE. LIKE SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES. #endthedebate]

Live from Suburbia! was about a wannabe rock star from LA, played by a pre-famous, pre-infamous, Tony Stark, who had to put his dreams on hold and move to the suburbs when he becomes the sole guardian of his two kids; Siouxsie and Hendrix, played by a pre-teen Clint Barton. You might recognise him too; his most recent album just went platinum.

[images of Clint Barton rocking out on stages around the world flash on screen]

The show was axed in 1994 and I pretty much went back to the real world for a few years and went back to school full time. My parents were pretty insistent on that. Towards the end of middle school they let me get back in contact with my agent and I soon got a recurring role as mean girl Kaitlyn on the Disney Channel show Total Drama Teens. And later on when I was a senior in high school I played Void, the goth hacker-slash-tech support to a brooding vigilante in one of the last great straight-to-video action duds of the Blockbuster era. 

[sudden dramatic close up] 

But we don’t talk about that. 

[zoom out]

After high school I went to Culver University and studied full time. My parents insisted I get a “real degree” so I ended up majoring in Political Science with a minor in Drama, instead of the other way around, and without the Political Science, like I wanted. After I graduated, despite my parents’ concerns, I moved to L.A. to try and become an actress full time. You might remember me from such unforgettable roles as the “kooky” comedic relief-slash-best friend in five different rom-coms from the mid-2000’s – four of which were called Jenny. I am not kidding. 

[Images of her characters appear on screen: Jenny, Jenny, Jennie, Madison, and Jenny.]

I’ve also had bit parts on every Law & Order and CSI series there is, and had recurring roles as the “kooky” girlfriend in about three different sitcoms over the past five years. 

[Darcy sighs]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN TYPECAST]

Most recently I finished work on my first serious dramatic role in an indie movie called Bottled Lightning. It’s been entered in a few film festivals, I’ve gotten some good reviews for my performance, but as of last week it had still not secured a distribution deal. So, yeah… That one’s probably only going to be seen by a dozen film critics from three different film festivals and then sort of disappear into the unknown. [pouts] So here I am. Taking a break from the grind of auditioning. In my time capsule of a childhood bedroom. Housesitting for my parents while they’re drinking their way across Europe. 

[Darcy sighs again]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN UNREALISED POTENTIAL]

My parents suggested I just give up on the whole acting thing altogether, move closer to them, get a “real job”… So I created a youtube channel instead. [cheeky smile] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming episodes. Next week I’m going to be doing a reaction video to the pilot episode of Live from Suburbia! It’s been a good twenty-five years since I’ve seen it, but I’ve got the entire series on VHS. …just got to figure out how to get that digital so I can insert it into one of these videos…

[pensive music]

[Text on screen: COME ON NETFLIX! HELP A GIRL OUT!]

And then maybe a reaction to the first episode of Full House, or a review of the best child actor performances... Maybe if these videos get some traction I might even be able to do some interviews with other child actors – what do you think? Let me know in the comments. And I’m sure you know the drill already: Like, Subscribe, and Share. Thanks for dropping by! I’ll see you next week!

[Darcy blows a kiss to camera, screen fades to black]

NEXT VIDEO: Live from Suburbia! Pilot Episode Reaction (feat. Fizzgig)

*** ** ***

Notes: NEXT VIDEO is not indicative of what the next chapter is about but done simply to imply that Darcy has a whole lot of other videos on her channel that I haven’t written. Also, I named her parent’s cat Fizzgig for the 80s/90s kid vibes.

Tagging everyone who commented on the original tumblr fic prompt in case you wanted to see the end result. @zephrbabe @evieplease @endlesscalendar @lynnestra44 @founderofshield @oldenoughtobeyourmama  @typhoidmeri @phoenix-173 @suzieqsez @kiaraalexisklay @slytherinstarkravingmad​

[kosakawalterwhite]

On Komaeda’s Love Confession

The official translation for the final line of Komaeda’s free time events is as follows:  “I love...the hope sleeping inside of you from the bottom of my heart.” 

If you’ve been in the fandom for at least a week you’ve probably already seen the line being the most cited piece of evidence of Komaeda having a crush on Hinata. You may have also seen it being used as a counterpoint, because obv he just said he loves his hope, bruh. However, something that’s also often brought up is that this line is a mistranslation, and that in the original Japanese text, Komaeda was originally addressing Hinata as a person, but switched the direct object over to his hope at the last second. When the localization first came out this was actually a major complaint among Komahina shippers, as one can see if they look at the official video for Komaeda’s free time events on YouTube. This is backed up by fan translations of the line before the game was even released to international audiences, such as here and here. 

Is this true? The fan translations are definitely more accurate than the NISA version, but does that mean they’re entirely correct in conveying the intent themselves? 

My answer: ...Probably? 

Now, this isn’t going to be questioning whether Komaeda is in love with Hinata outside of haha hope big sexy, because even without this line, there’s a ton of evidence to support that yes, it is more than that. I’d argue that one doesn’t even have to do the free time events to see this. What I am going to be talking about is the line itself, because let me tell you, it’s a fucking bitch. 

I 100% agreed with the general consensus that this is undoubtedly an aborted love confession for about like, five years. However, one thing that has led to a little bit of doubt is that the line is rarely talked about among the Japanese fandom- in fact, just like the official translation, the “aborted” part is often skipped over when quoting it. I want to chalk it up to the change being incredibly subtle, which it is, but I’m not fully certain. Let’s break down the line itself: 

Obviously, before beginning to explain this, I should clarify that unlike English, the basic sentence structure in Japanese goes Subject-Object-Verb, and nouns are usually marked with specific particles indicating their role. 

In this case, the subject is Komaeda himself, and the object is something related to Hinata, referred to naturally as “you” (キミ) since he’s talking directly to him. キミの中に眠る希望 promptly translates to “the hope sleeping inside of you.” 

Now, direct objects in Japanese are marked with the particle を, which are attached right after the noun. Looking at the screenshot above, you can see that it’s initially attached to just the plain “you,” but is then attached to a full on possessive phrase before he can get the verb in. Based on this, it seems like everything’s set: he was initially going to refer to Hinata, but likewise, switched it to his hope- something Komaeda has already expressed his love for in the past (though not Hinata’s specifically, just everyone in general), and in a non-romantic way too (no, komaeda was never romantically/sexually attracted to hope in SDR2. rather, he likes it in the “using religion as a coping mechanism” way. you can blame dr3 for the hopesexual interpretations). 

However, that’s not the only way this line can be translated. In fact, it’s also common in Japanese for two direct objects to simply function as “and.” Komaeda isn’t exempt from this. Here’s an example: 

(sorry for the youtube cutout)

“I said that I love you all who embody hope...and those wonderful talents, from the bottom of my heart.”

Again, it’s the same structure, both “you all who embody hope” and “those wonderful talents” are marked with を, and not only that, but there’s the presence of the ellipses after the former, just like in the free time event. It’s also worth mentioning that 心から愛してる (from the bottom of my heart) is used in this line as well, drawing another similarity. I don’t think these lines are meant to parallel each other at all, more like it’s just how Komaeda speaks, but it’s definitely worth noting. 

If this is the way the original line was meant to be interpreted, then it would more or less be “I’m in love with you...and the hope sleeping inside of you...from the bottom of my heart.” This isn’t necessarily a new idea either. It’s how his confession in the manga (which in Japanese is the exact same line), is translated into English was well. 

So, does this mean that Komaeda just loves him and his hope equally, as if the two are inherently connected? I personally don’t think so. After all, a commonly forgotten factoid is that in the very same event, Komaeda tells Hinata he never sensed a talent (ergo “hopeful”) aura from him in the first place (and he seems to be happy with this, too), so I’m rather inclined to pass it off as a generic Komaeda-ism rather than a serious mark on his character. That being said, there’s also still an “aborted” feel to it. The “hope sleeping inside of you” part sort of feels like something tacked on in order to lessen the impact of his own words, though I don’t know, I can’t say for sure. That’s just what I’m getting from Ogata’s delivery of the line, which is also open to subjective takes.

Nevertheless, this still leaves open holes. If Komaeda so blatantly said that he loved Hinata specifically, then why doesn’t this part of the line make it into his report card? It’s simply cited as ボクはキミの中に眠る希望を心から愛してると with no regard to the initial キミを, which indicates that Hinata didn’t even pick up on it in the first place (or maybe, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge it because it’d be too hard for him. still, as interesting as this view is, it’s not supported by anything in his internal monologue). 

What translation appropriately conveys the meaning of the sentence structure? I can’t say for sure. Either way, it’s a really fickle line, and I don’t blame NISA for flubbing on it. I just wanted to share these thoughts to other Komahina shippers on tumblr because I find it really interesting. 

Also, as a bonus: On the use of 愛してる (aishiteru) 

Many people seem to have this idea that this word is like, the strongest expression of romantic love ever. And while that’s true, it’s not because it implies a “deeper” love, but because it’s extremely bold and cheesy. Most love confessions, especially in things like anime, use 好き (suki) or 大好き (daisuki) instead, and it doesn’t make them any less important or genuine. It’s just how normal people usually talk. Komaeda actually uses these two terms instead of aishiteru in his confession to Hinata in his Drama CD, just an fyi. 

Also, the word isn’t necessarily romantic either. Like, when I was in Japan, my host mother just like casually said it to a friend as a goodbye as we were leaving her house. Likewise, Komaeda using it in this line isn’t what indicates that his feelings for Hinata are necessarily deeper or romantic than his “feelings” for everyone else, because if you’ve noticed before, he uses the same word to describe his love for hope, talent, and even Junko at the end of DR:AE. If anything, what it’s supposed to say about Komaeda is that he’s really embarrassing and overdramatic in expressing his emotions. It’s honestly just kind of dorky. 

[lillupon]

thoughts on kmg situation

Hi everyone, your friendly neighbourhood minwon writer here! I apologise to those of you who were hoping for an update this weekend. In light of recent events, I found it very difficult to get excited about Achieving Escape Velocity. Before I can resume posting, I feel it is necessary for me to work through my own thoughts. 

I am not trying to persuade people into believing a particular side. I share this with the hope that it will help others who are struggling to reconcile feelings similar to my own. I also see this as an opportunity to—with your guidance—become more passionate, and to learn how to be a decent human being, if that’s what I need to do. I recognise that I come barreling in here with my own cultural and environmental biases. Thus, anyone who understands the nuances of this situation better should feel free to educate me on the matter. If this is of no interest to you, kindly scroll on; I hope to see you when I next update. Otherwise, please join me for a few minutes. 

TL;DR

I support both Mingyu and the victim/OP

I believe that people change as they grow older and become more educated and informed

I am conflicted and have my misgivings about the additional allegations (group chat screenshots + bullying a student with special needs—which has now been resolved, yay!)

I will not unstan Mingyu

I will continue to write and update Achieving Escape Velocity

I want to start by saying that I am an older fan in my twenties, and that I have been a fan of Seventeen since 2015. I have found great joy and comfort in them for many years. As much as I have tried to remain impartial, I have likely fallen short of that ideal. The truth is, I adore this boy! I admire his talents as an artist. I am charmed by the persona of him that we get to see in the media; I see parts of myself reflected in this curated persona. That being said, I tried to remain critical of the stance I am taking. I asked myself, “If this situation was not about Mingyu, and was about my local weatherman instead, would I still feel the same way?” And the answer to that was: hell fucking yeah! Don’t worry, Local Weatherman, I got your back… 

Lastly, I want to say that I am approaching this from a Western point of view. I grew up in Canada, albeit with the traditions and beliefs inherited from fairly strict and conservative Asian parents. As an international fan, there will inevitably be some cultural disconnects in this thought piece. 

There are three main parts to my admittedly rough and disjointed thoughts. The first part addresses the original accusations. The second part addresses additional accusations that were made against Mingyu. The final part is about the future of my minwon stories.

You may agree with all of this, part of this, or none of this. These are simply the thoughts I am trying to work through. 

Thoughts on original allegations (therapy records OP)

How do I describe opening up Twitter on Thursday morning? One moment, I was reading about Mingyu drawing pubes on the classroom whiteboard. The next moment, I was reading about how serious allegations against Mingyu were. People were unstanning him and Seventeen, calling Mingyu a rapist, sending him death threats, etc. I truly did not understand how the situation escalated so quickly, and I nearly gave myself whiplash trying to follow jumps in logic. 

One side of Twitter was convinced that the Original Poster (OP) was lying and doing all of this for attention; they said victims could not be believed 100%. The other side of Twitter declared that Mingyu should be cancelled, and bashed anyone who supported Mingyu or remained neutral. People were sending Mingyu death threats despite the history of k-pop artists committing suicide. All of this reminded me why I avoided Twitter for so many years: Purity and cancel culture run rampant; the mobs want blood penance for every wrongdoing without first considering the nuances of the situation. People blindly defend their ults and set aside their morals to do so.

Here is what I got out of my initial reading of the translated (version 1, version 2) accusations:

OP was shy, timid, and isolated from her classmates. When she tried to speak up in class, Mingyu would tell her to shut up. This happened enough times that, eventually, OP stopped talking in class at all.

Mingyu and his friends told sexual jokes while OP was in the vicinity. These comments made OP uncomfortable and triggered her. However, they were not directed at OP.

The sexual jokes and comments did not escalate to sexual assault or violence. OP explicitly states there was no violence or physical contact.

Mingyu and his friends drew and laughed at inappropriate pictures of body parts/hair on the board. OP is not actually sure if it was Mingyu who drew the pictures, only that he was up there laughing with the others.

OP struggles with anxiety and depression; Mingyu was not the sole reason why she attended therapy. OP mentioned that she brought Mingyu up only briefly with her therapist.

Could I believe all of this being true? Yes, because I personally adhere to two Me Too philosophies: 

The first is that women almost never lie about sexual harassment, abuse, or assault. I absolutely believe that Mingyu is capable of making sexual jokes and comments. Teenage boys and girls alike are notoriously emotional and hormonal between the ages of 12 and 14. I can also imagine Mingyu drawing penises on whiteboards, complete with elaborate pubic hair. These are the antics of a typical middle school boy. For some reason, teenage boys—at least in North America—are very fascinated by their own genitalia and like to announce they have one by drawing pictures of dicks on any available surface. 

The second philosophy I abide by is that men and boys in power are likely to abuse it. All men—even k-pop idols—benefit from patriarchy. They are in a position to abuse, degrade, and humiliate women (obviously, I hope none of these things happen, but I also have to acknowledge the possibility that they do). This is especially true in patriarchal Asian societies. Someone as popular and attractive as Mingyu holds great influence and power in his peer groups. Can I see a young Mingyu being a dick to a girl who is quiet and timid and isolated from her peers? Yes.

But also… Who wasn’t a dick in middle school? I feel like my classmates and I were colossal idiots back then. Was it just my school where classmates told each other to shut up all the time? Was it just my school where kids put their thumb and forefinger in an “L” shape to their foreheads and called each other losers? Everyone has a different threshold for what they consider bullying, but for me, these gestures and comments were so commonplace that I merely accepted them as part of the elementary and middle school experience. These things are mean and insensitive, yes, but it’s possible to grow out of these antics.

It is difficult for me to form an opinion about these sexual jokes Mingyu made for two reasons: (1) cultural differences, and thus my own internal biases, and (2) we don’t know about the nature of these jokes. It’s hard to determine whether these comments constitute as sexual harassment without this context. Even then, people have different thresholds of what they are comfortable with, and what they are not comfortable with.

We don’t know whether these comments were along the lines of “That’s what she said” or “You know what else is big?” or “I grow hair down there...on my toes!” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Or if they were jokes about sexual experience/performance, speculation about what someone looks like naked, the colour of their underwear, or raping a person (I’ve often seen these “jokes” directed at female streamers and influencers). In my opinion, there’s a big difference between the two. 

The former, while crude and immature, is not generally said with ill-intent, nor is it generally directed at a specific person. These are jokes that teens, both male and female, commonly make in North America. (Perhaps this is part of the problem: the fact that I consider this to be standard teenage behaviour...) I would hesitate to call it harassment unless the victim made it known that she was uncomfortable, and the boys continued anyway. I also understand that the victim may not have felt able to speak out against Mingyu and his friends. In this case, the boys might not have been aware of her discomfort. Teenage boys are not particularly well-known for being sensitive. 

The latter, however, objectifies and diminishes a person, and is disgusting and reprehensible. The latter is, without contest, sexual harassment. Absolutely no one should have to tolerate comments of this nature. Anyone who makes such jokes should be educated on why these so-called jokes are damaging, and how they perpetuate rape culture, as well as the sexualisation and dehumanisation of women, as well as men. Anyone who makes comments of this nature should be called out (and here I emphasise called out as opposed to cancelled) for their behaviour. It is imperative that they are educated, given the opportunity to reflect, apologise, and make amends. This is with the hope they know better in the future and do not make the same mistake again. 

Now, based on what OP said, the jokes Mingyu made seem more like the first case: he made a pun about body hair. I am pretty sure if Mingyu made “jokes” of the second nature, OP would have chosen to highlight that instead of a pun. However, this is something that needs to be clarified. The content of these jokes drastically changes the severity of the allegations.

Currently, I interpret this through the lens of my uncouth Western sensibilities: what OP described sounds like typical Western teen behaviour. There are many actions, events, and experiences that take place during our formative and adolescent years that come to define who we are as adults. Personally, I don’t think that drawing hairy penises on the whiteboard—inappropriate as it is—or being an asshole in middle school are these things.

But who am I to say, “Yeah, what OP went through was not that bad”? I can’t be the judge of that, and that’s absolutely not what I’m trying to do here. I don’t know the whole story, and even then, it doesn’t matter. I am an outsider in all of this. I’m not trying to diminish the years of suffering and torment the victim went through, and I apologise if that’s how I came off. Nothing I said previously changes the fact that these jokes negatively affected the victim. Nothing I said changes the fact that this girl’s voice was silenced because of some thoughtless middle school boy’s comments. These are wounds that people carry from childhood through to adulthood.

Impact matters just as much as intent. I might argue that in cases such as these, impact matters even more than intent. Mingyu might have done all these things without ill-intent, but OP’s trauma is very much real. (As a side note: This is one of the reasons why I am very happy with Pledis’ official statement. Their focus on healing and reparation—without absolving Mingyu or throwing him under the bus (yet)—is the right move.)

I’ve just been seeing so many death threats and demands for Mingyu to leave the group that I cannot help but wish people would extend him the empathy that they themselves would appreciate.

People are condemning a 12-14 year old Mingyu for making sexual puns and being an asshole. People are measuring a middle school aged-Mingyu against the ethical and moral standards they hold as adults, and they are finding that this young Mingyu fell short. This should not be surprising. I know if I judged younger-me by the standards I have today, I would be left wanting. 

I remember the kind of person I was as a teenager. I was hormonal. I made “That’s what she said” jokes, among others. While I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone, I know I have said crude and unkind things. As a teenager, I didn’t possess the tact I do now; I didn’t know how to self-regulate. I could be a mean and horny kid (not necessarily at the same time, haha!), but I also had parts of me that were deeply sensitive and caring and thoughtful of others. Teenagers and adults are multi-faceted. I would not want anyone to dig up these past receipts and use it as the basis to judge the person I am now. I would not want people to pick out the worst of my past actions and words, and use it to invalidate my success today. 

It varies case by case, but for the most part, I don’t think people should be punished for what they did or said as children; I would have been cancelled long ago if this were the case, as would many others. People change as they grow older and become more educated and informed. It is different if these behaviours and actions persist into adulthood. Then, yes: there should absolutely be consequences. I am not saying we can just sweep all our childhood wrongdoings under the rug. It is still important for us to acknowledge and reflect upon the wrongs of past words and actions, and to offer apologies and reparations where they are due.  

Should these allegations prove true, can I support both OP and Mingyu, or is that cheating? I do believe OP and my heart goes out to her. I understand why she chose to speak out. I know it must have been difficult to do so against someone who is a man, famous, well-loved, wealthy, and successful. I know it must hurt to see the whole world adore a man who has caused you pain. South Korea has a culture of enduring silently; this results in great mental strain and suffering. In speaking out, she relived past and present power imbalances. This is not easy for a victim to do, especially when you are a woman in a patriarchal society and your bully is a male celebrity.

I hope I am not invalidating her feelings when I reiterate that Mingyu was a young teenager, and teenagers can be mean and crude—intentionally or not. Mingyu is a public figure, so naturally, he is held to higher moral standards. But he is also human. He can and will make mistakes. He can and will continue to grow. I feel a lot of empathy for Mingyu, both now as he is forced to confront his past immaturities, and as he moves forward in his career. 

Thoughts on additional allegations (KakaoTalk group chat + ableism)

I will not be addressing allegations of Mingyu bullying a classmate with autism now that the issue has been resolved. (Again, I commend Pledis for their response, and for recognising that the ableism needed to be addressed first. Of the three l accusations, this was the one that Mingyu would not be able to recover from. Even now, he will not emerge from this unscathed). I will only be sharing my initial misgivings about these additional allegations.

First off, this is a very nuanced and precarious topic. I don’t want to diminish a potential victim’s experience, yet I hope people understand why I am so skeptical about accepting screenshots of chat rooms as hard proof. Here are a few reasons why:

(1) Bullying scandals have been erupting left and right, especially as of late. Some of these accusations have been proved true. Others have been proved false. Regardless, there seems to be a trend of digging up past receipts—fabricated or not—of celebrities with the aim of cancelling them or undermining their success. 

(2) Screenshots and chat rooms are easily manipulated and fabricated. This is different from a victim with a face speaking out against past incidents of bullying. They could be someone with malicious intent, or they could be a genuine victim. We just don’t know. And in the case of the chat rooms, it wasn’t even the victims who were speaking out.

(3) I wondered if these were antis who jumped on the coattails of the initial OP to stir the pot. These allegations (particularly the case of ableism, which has thankfully been cleared up now) are far more serious than original claims—why wait until now to bring them up?

(4) I find it difficult to trust even yearbook proof because people can and will sell yearbooks if they went to school with idols. In addition, yearbooks cannot prove interaction, and therefore, cannot prove bullying. At the same time, how do you prove bullying incidents from ten years ago? How do you disprove it? Cases of bullying aren’t often well-documented. It essentially becomes a game of my-word-against-yours. 

(5) There is a pretty well-known article from 2016 where Mingyu defended a classmate with a disability. It doesn’t necessarily disprove the current claim, but the timing is important here. The classmate shared their account back in 2016; it did not just surface after recent allegations. However, if I want to believe that the KKT screenshots are false, then I must also be willing to believe that this 2016 article may have been fabricated as well.

(6) As someone in their 20s, the thought of being in a group chat with a bunch of my middle school classmates is baffling to me. Personally, I don’t want anything to do with my middle school classmates.

There is not much more to say on this; I will patiently wait for Pledis’ statement on the remaining allegations.

Achieving Escape Velocity and other MinWon stories

In a previous blog post, I stated that when I write and talk about AEV-Mingyu and Wonwoo—or other variations of Mingyu and Wonwoo—they are strictly characters that I have made up in my head, and they are separate from the real Mingyu and Wonwoo. At the same time, I do absolutely draw inspiration from the real Mingyu and Wonwoo in the creation of these story characters. It is their faces, bodies, and voices that I imagine. Thus, my current anxieties surrounding this situation make it difficult for me to write and enjoy AEV.

However, I still love this story a lot, and I love sharing it with everyone! There’s so much more to this fic that I want to show. As I mentioned in the initial author’s note, this is the first time I’m posting something of this length and I worked really hard on it. For these reasons, I have every intention of continuing to write and update Achieving Escape Velocity. Regular weekly updates will resume this coming weekend.

[chiaki-translation]

Spring Troupe 7th Play: Magician’s Pure Love Translation Ch1-2

What am I doing to myself? Out of a very weird reason I started translating this story. I will try my best to post translation everyday (at least 2 chapters a day) so I would be able to post everything before the actual event ends. I hope there’s someone else out there who actually want to read the whole story so here it is, the first part of the translation under the cut. Enjoy~ Some extra things I’m tempted to say. I really want to scout for Magician Chikage, but I’m saving so hard for Glitter Kazu and I shall not be tempted. I also won’t have a lot of screenshots for this series because I’m quite lazy since each chapter is quite long...

Ch1-2 / / Ch3-4 / / Ch5-6 / / Ch7-8 / / Ch9-10 / / Epilogue

Disclaimer:

A3! is owned by Liber Entertainment

Translator’s Note:

I actually haven’t read Act 3, so I’m not that familiar with Madoka and the 1st generations. If there’s anything wrong from this translation, please feel free to tell me so I can correct it for others. Thank you~

Magician’s Pure Love (Chapter 1-2)

 Masumi:

So look over here, and… there it disappears.

Chikage:

Right, you’re good.

As expected, you really have a dexterous hand.

Masumi:

Everyone can do this much.

Chikage:

If you tell that to Chigasaki, he’ll get angry at you.

But you have quite a repertoire of magic tricks now, don’t you think it’s time to try putting on a formal show?

Masumi:

I’ll only put on a show for Director…

Chikage:

If it’s for that purpose, then you might need to polish the magic tricks even further…

Misdirection technique might be effective, it’s a necessary trick to get Director-san to enjoy it.

Masumi:

…

Chikage:

Memo?

You wrote on that memo sometimes, what have you actually been writing?

Masumi:

It’s a note on how to grab hold of Director’s love.

Chikage:

Vol.26 huh…

Masumi:

It’s the 26th one.

Chikage:

As usual, your dedication towards Director-san is amazing…

Masumi:

I’ll do anything to be able to become her ideal man.

Chikage:

Anything, huh… to have such a passionate love for something, I wonder what kind of feeling it would be.

Masumi:

You want to know?

Chikage:

I’ll refrain if we’re talking about love stories.

Masumi:

You won’t understand anyway, so I won’t start.

Chikage:

Haha. Even Masumi, are you going to treat me like a man with no romance?

Director:

Ah, the two of you, can I have a bit of your time?

Masumi:

--

Chikage:

Right when we’re talking about it, right.

Masumi:

What happened?

Director:

There’s something I need to talk to you about.

<Shifts to Living Room>

Tsuzuru:

What are we talking about?

Director:

I just had a talk with Sakyo-san and the manager…

There are a lot of attention on the troupe now because of GODza’s and 1st generation’s act-off, as well as the all-out performance on “Spotlight”.

Citron:

Oh, it’s crawling through the tension!

Masumi:

Boiling.

Itaru:

There’re really a lot of God-za’s fans and the 1st generation fans when you pay a closer attention.

Sakuya:

Even for “Spotlight” as the special feature, I was so nervous at first but I’m glad that it seemed popular out there!

Chikage:

It’s all thanks to Kasumi-san’s editing skill.

Director:

From then, I have received a lot of inquiries regarding our local performances… Then from this, I thought we should go for an attack instead.

In order to realize the value of Mankai entrusted by the 1st generation, we should aim to level up and improve the popularity of the theatre company while improving the performance level of each individual.

Tsuzuru-kun will also take steps to further improve on his ability to write for our performances…

Tsuzuru:

Yeah. In order to be able to match the stories that Hakkaku-san made, as expected I still need a lot more experience.

Director:

That’s why, while still working on our local performances, I would like to plan for new performances that would highlight the strength of each troupe.

It’s exactly because we received a lot of attention now, shouldn’t we use this chance to redefine the strength of each group?

Sakuya:

I want to do it!!

Citron:

I’m pretty sure there’re a lot of fans out there who’re still waiting for us!

Masumi:

I think it’s a good idea.

Itaru:

Why not?

It might be a good change to all the Mixed Plays we’ve been doing as well.

Chikage:

I agree as well.

We’ve only done one lap of ‘lead’  for Spring Troupe performances after all.

Tsuzuru:

You’re right.

Director:

Is there anyone here interested to take the ‘lead’ role this time?

Masumi:

I want to do it.

Director:

That’s fast.

Masumi:

I’ll do anything to rekindle your love.

Tsuzuru:

There’s nothing to rekindle over there.

Itaru:

So there’s a motive for some returns.

Chikage:

Your character’s too consistent.

Masumi:

Not only the Spring Troupe performances, I have taken many roles even in Mixed Play and act-off. The me right now would be able to shine brighter as a ‘lead’ compared to my time during Alice.

As the chairman, I think I would be able to put on a much better performance than that time, and I want to show it to you.

Director:

I see…

(Alice was only our second performance for the Spring Troupe and everyone had very little experience back then. Since then, everyone has accumulated a lot of experience.

The bond among the members has also deepened, we might be able to make a performance that portrays Masumi-kun much better now.)

Chikage:

I see.

Itaru:

As the chairman, huh.

Sakuya:

I think the Masumi-kun right now will be able to do it!

I’ll also support you!

Citron:

I also a breeze!

Tsuzuru:

Agree you mean.

Well, I think it’s good for Masumi to be the ‘lead’.

Director:

Alright, then, it’s decided that Masumi-kun will be the lead!

Masumi:

I’ll do my best.

<End of Chapter 1>

Masumi:

…

(There’s no vacant seat around…)

Madoka:

--

You can sit over here.

Masumi:

… thank you.

You’re writing GODza’s script?

Madoka:

Yeah. Recently I’ve been visiting GODza’s training hall, I need to keep studying theatre after all.

Masumi:

Hee…

Madoka:

After our loss in the act off, GODza’s seats has been more motivated, of course Haruto-san and Shifuto included.

Everyone’s practicing with all they have.

Kamikizaka-san also changed towards a good direction.

How’s your side doing?

Masumi:

We decided that I’ll be the ‘lead’ for the upcoming Spring Troupe performance.

Madoka:

Really. Congrats.

Masumi:

I’m going to do my best for her sake.

Madoka:

Her?

Masumi:

It’s the director.

Madoka:

You’re going to do your best for the director’s sake?

Masumi:

I started acting for her sake.

All the good performances I’ve done so far was to kindle our love.

Madoka:

Ki, kindle your love…?

Fukunaga:

That’s wonderful!

So your passionate fire of love has polished your performances until now!

Madoka:

!?

Fukunaga:

You should promptly get that Director-san to come to this year’s school festival’s performance!

Masumi:

I told you she won’t come.

Fukunaga:

Ikaruga-kun! For his sake and for his director’s sake, let’s write a good script!

Madoka:

I haven’t started writing anything.

Fukunaga:

Not yet!

Masumi:

Ha…

Fukunaga:

You started acting for that person, and now you’re aiming higher to become a better actor for her, such a melodramatic scenario!

Madoka:

Then, what if, you never met with Director-san, Masumi would you be doing acting at all.

Masumi:

There’s no such thing as a world where me and Director won’t meet, our meeting was fate after all.

When I manage to become her ideal actor, we would finally be connected as one…

Fukunaga:

Fyuuu.

Madoka:

You’re really a passionate one…

Fukunaga:

For you to be so head over heels over her, this director-san would be a very attractive person, isn’t it.

Masumi:

Of course. She loves curry, always working hard, pretty nice, likes curry, loves theatre, loves curry.

Madoka:

So she likes curry that much…

Fukunaga:

But for such a nice person, I would be worried if I was her boyfriend~

Masumi:

…We’re not going out yet.

Fukunaga:

Eh!?

Usui-kun that doesn’t sound like you, don’t say that she already has a boyfriend?

Masumi:

… Don’t have.

Fukunaga:

But, if you approach me so passionately, even I would relent sooner or later.

Masumi:

I don’t want to approach you.

Fukunaga:

It’s just an if!

That’s why I was thinking there might be someone else on her mind.

Masumi:

(Director has another guy on her mind…?)

--

(It can’t be… It’s impossible.)

<Shifts to Dorm’s Living Room>

Itaru:

Since Masumi-kun is the lead, I have an idea for a sequel.

We can make Alice in Wonderland II.

Sakuya:

We’ve never done a sequel before, so it sounds like a refreshing new idea!

Tsuzuru:

But the rabbit ears…

Citron:

Then how about puppy ears?

Summer Troupe already used cat ears, so we should try something different.

Itaru:

Is this a new animal series or something…

Tsuzuru:

I’m not going to make such series!?

Chikage:

Masumi’s good at sword fighting, why not we try a performance that can make use of his skill?

Director:

Spring Troupe doesn’t really have a performance with battles and stuffs, maybe we can make it work!

Masumi:

…

Tsuzuru:

Masumi? Something bothering you?

Masumi:

It’s nothing…

Director:

?

Itaru:

If you want to make use of something Masumi’s good at, the other choice would be…

Sakuya:

Ah! What about story about magicians!?

He learns a lot of magic tricks from Chikage-san after all.

Chikage:

I see.

We can showcase the result of your training.

Tsuzuru:

It sounds like it’s going to be a good theme, sounds like it can highlight the brightness of Spring Troupe too.

Citron:

We played some live performance during the Quartet performance, maybe we can do the same with magic this time.

Director:

Sounds fun, I’m looking forward to it!

Itaru:

If it’s magic, then the co-lead would be senpai?

Sakuya:

It’s the master-pupil combination!

Tsuzuru:

Sounds great, why not.

Citron:

I approve!

Chikage:

I don’t mind.

Masumi:

…

Director:

Masumi-kun will you be alright with this arrangement?

Masumi:

… Yeah.

Director:

(His answer’s a bit vague, I wonder if this is going to be alright…)

Tsuzuru:

Then I’ll start thinking of a plot.

Director:

Yeah, I’ll leave it to you.

<Shifts to Corridor>

Masumi:

…

Chikage:

Masumi, is this alright?

Masumi:

?

Chikage:

You were practicing to hold a magic show for Director-san, weren’t you.

If we’re doing it on the stage, your performance will not be exclusive to Director-san anymore.

Masumi:

Ah… It’s alright.

Even if other people see it, I would still be able to convey my desire to show it to Director, it’s no problem at all.

Chikage:

You’re so consistent.

Masumi:

Just consistent?

Chikage:

Ah… Well, if you’re satisfied then it’s fine.

Masumi:

…

Chikage:

(Since earlier, I’ve been feeling something weird…

Well, it’s Masumi after all, most probably it’s something about Director-san

Such a pure love is not my specialty…)

… the upcoming performance, I’m looking forward to work with you.

Masumi:

Yeah.

<Shifts to Itaru/Chikage’s Room>

Itaru:

Woah, the rug’s expensive.

Chikage:

…

Itaru:

Ah, how’s Masumi?

Chikage:

Masumi?

Itaru:

I thought you went to talk to him?

Chikage:

So you saw.

Itaru:

I’m his dad after all.

Chikage:

And I’m the grandfather huh.

But he seemed to be fine for now, how to say…

Is it alright for me to give my grandson some pocket money.

Itaru:

I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work on that one grandson.

Maybe a bromide of Director-san will work instead.

Chikage:

You’re right. Well, since I’ll be co-starring, I shall communicate with him carefully.

Itaru:

Please do so.

Chikage:

By the way, how was he during the Alice performance?

You’re the co-lead right.

Itaru:

Ah…

We understood that we cannot understand each other.

Chikage:

What’s that.

But, I think I will be the same.

Itaru:

Nah, senpai’s pretty unexpected, I think you might actually understand each other normally.

I don’t have any basis for saying that, but if you find nothing in common with him, you won’t even teach him magic.

That dry part was somehow similar as well.

Chikage:

Starting from the basic.

Our age difference were quite big… how about that.

Above everything else, it doesn’t help that Masumi’s most prominent feature, being his passionate love, it’s not similar to me at all.

Itaru:

Well, around the time when Spring Troupe was formed, there was a time when Masumi lost his passion in love. That’s when everyone started sharing love stories to him.

Chikage:

Love stories… huh.

Itaru:

Why not senpai go ahead and present one to him as well.

Chikage:

Are you serious?

Itaru:

Well, I don’t expect any interesting story to come out from you though.

Chikage:

I don’t want to hear that from you.

Well, I was told straight to  the face that he doesn’t want to share love stories with me.

Itaru:

Haha. So Masumi understands well.

<End of Chapter 2>f